Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
