After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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