i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
