Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
