I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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