even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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