dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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