I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize