shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
