South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
