I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
