and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
