I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
