I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This is the high leading the old right now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
