508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
