What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
