69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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