We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
