Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
