im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
