she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
