It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
