please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
either way he was missing a nipple.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
