i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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