So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize