she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
