This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
