I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
