that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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