A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
