he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
