I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize