I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
