dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
