After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
