Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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