Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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