Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
