it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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