she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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