So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
