dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
