We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
