So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
