Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize