anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
