at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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