My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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