I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize