Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
