she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
