Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
