Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
