Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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