But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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