I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
