Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
