doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize