And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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