I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize