Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
