the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
